If I were a greeting card designer, I would make it my personal mission to rebrand Valentine’s Day as the Day of Sex. For one, you don’t need to be in a relationship to celebrate good sex. Two, you don’t need to spend any money on Valentine’s Day gifts (orgasms are free!). And last but not least, who cares about roses when you’re basking in that post-O glow?
In all seriousness, whether you heart or hate the silly Hallmark holiday for all of its inherent romantic vibes, you should be having hot Valentine’s Day sex. A good romp or two heightens intimacy (thanks to all that oxytocin released during intercourse and orgasm especially), reignites your connection, and duh, puts you in a better mood to deal with all the annoying lovebirds on Instagram. Chocolate is delicious, sure, but it can’t do all that—well, maybe just that last part.
Because V-Day is the unofficial Day of Sex, there’s nothing wrong with busting out one of your go-to sex positions or seeing where the night takes you. But if you do want to use all the romance in the air as an excuse to try something new or take your relationship to the next level, these surefire tips and positions will turn Valentine’s Day into your new favorite holiday.
Meet the experts:
Gloria Brame, PhD is a sex therapist and certified sexologist based in Athens, GA.
Lena Queen, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker and the owner of Journey Wellness & Consulting Group, a mental health and sex therapy practice.
How can I set the mood for sex on Valentine’s Day?
Before jumping into bed with your boo, set the vibe just right so you’re both ~in the mood~ for a steamy V-Day session. And no, this doesn’t have to look like candles lit all around the room or a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom. (Although it certainly can!)
Instead, it can be as simple as offering to try out a new fantasy your partner has been hinting at—as long as it’s one that you’re comfortable with—or throwing on your favorite sexy lingerie, says Gloria Brame, PhD, a sex therapist and certified sexologist based in Athens, GA. “This is a day for loving sexual experimentation and creativity,” she says. “What is really important is that you forge a hot and sexy memory you can look back on with joy.”
If you and your partner have been together for a while, Brame also recommends putting together a playlist with songs that have positive, shared memories attached to them. For example, maybe you throw on a slow jam from a concert you went to together, or add the song that was playing in the background on your first date.
If music’s not your vibe, or you want to accentuate the mood even more, playing a sexy card game like “Talk, Flirt, Dare” can boost intimacy. “Most adult games can open new doors to level up the relationship, in addition to giving you an interestingly different experience that night,” Brame says.
If you want to make your V-Day really special, you can also bust out some new, more sensual moves. Your goal isn’t just to come, but to admire your partner from head to toe and let them revel in all of you (hint: that means lots of skin-on-skin and intense eye contact).
Not sure where to start? Behold the sweetest, sexiest, curated list of positions for the best Valentine’s Day sex of your life. If only I could put these on a card…
This position checks pretty much every box—there’s eye contact, plenty of body contact, and close proximity with your partner, says Lena Queen, a licensed clinical social worker and the owner of Journey Wellness & Consulting Group, a mental health and sex therapy practice. This kind of closeness is major for intimacy between partners, which helps foster trust and acceptance. Plus, if you’re the partner on top, you’ve got total control over depth of penetration.
How to do it: Have your Valentine perch on a chair or the edge of a bed. Face them, lower yourself onto their lap, and have at it. Queen also suggests playing around with location (counter top, couch, a sturdy desk), and tempo to really make this one your own.
2. The Chairman
Being head-to-head (even if you’re not facing each other) is ideal for upping sensuality, says Queen. They recommend The Chairman if the “eargasm” is your thing. While your partner’s seated on you, lean close to their ear and give them a bit of dirty talk for a next-level turn-on.
And, don’t forget about your hands. Reach around your partner for a bit of nipple play or reach down to caress their clit.
How to do it: With your partner sitting on the edge of the bed, you sit on their lap or have them sit on yours and lean back onto your chest.
3. Propped Up
Throwing in the use of some props or sexy objects during your Valentine’s Day romp can up the ante and provide even more stimulation and pleasure. Brame suggests grabbing several pillows and figuring out how they can maximize your favorite positions, or even just make for a super romantic and intimate environment. “With proper positioning, pillows can make a cozy little fort for you to use as a love nest. They can also support the neck, back, and hips to get into more adventurous positions,” Brame says.
Do It: Try using a pillow under your butt while your partner is penetrating you for a more effective angle and depth, or put it under their hips while you’re riding them for even more leverage and a shot at hitting your G-Spot.
“Oral sex is very intimate,” Queen says, but that doesn’t mean you can’t spice things up a bit. Try bringing in a sex toy that mimics the feel of oral sex. You can give your jaw a break and offer your partner the Valentine’s Day gift of multiple vibration speeds and mouth-like sensations.
How to do it: Your Valentine starts by lying down, flat on their back. Then, it’s up to you to climb on top, so you’re facing away from their upper body. (This way, you’ll look like the number 69, get it?) Your genitals should line up with their mouth, and their genitals should line up with yours. You can also try this one in a side-by-side position.
5. The Jackknife
If missionary is typically your thing, there are plenty of ways to spice it up on V-Day. Brame recommends pulling one knee close to your chest during penetration so that your partner can get a better angle and more depth. Plus, this will give you more room to touch yourself while they do for extra stimulation.
How to do it: While you’re laying on your back in missionary, pull one knee in to your chest to spread yourself open more widely, and throw in some self-stimulation for good measure.
If you’re the receiving partner, Queen says, while your partner is thrusting into you, you can totally reach down and stimulate your clitoris or your nippl
es. You might even reach for a bullet vibrator (something small is best so it won’t get in the way) and add some buzzing to the fun by using it on yourself or on your partner, where their genitalia are meeting yours.
How to do it: Lie back with your legs resting on each of your Valentine’s shoulders. For added fun, ask them to rock you in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion. That’ll make it easy to focus on your G-spot.
7. Not-So-Secret Admirer
Any position where you can easily kiss while touching each other’s fun parts is a win for Valentine’s Day sex. This seated setup makes squeezing his balls—or co-massaging your breasts—a cinch.
How to do it: While they sit on the bed or a chair, back yourself into their lap and spoon each other while seated. Want to up the ante? Tighten the muscles of your pelvic floor so you can grip them.
8. Roses Are Red
Want to cradle your gift from Cupid? You can—and more! Not only will you feel super connected to your partner in this position, but your rosebud will get plenty of attention here.
How to do it: Prop your Valentine up with some pillows and their legs outstretched. Then lower yourself onto them, keeping your feet flat on the bed (or floor, or whatever). Here, you’re able to control the rhythm by pressing up through the balls of your feet.
9. The Box of Chocolates
You never know what you’re gonna get…except a solid view of your ass. The friction this position offers may deliver a stellar, unconventional orgasm, but you’ll have to give it a try to find out.
How to do it: This is essentially upside-down missionary. Once your bodies are aligned, grab their butt to help control the thrusts—maybe throw in a spank or two if that’s your jam.
10. Two Halves, One Hole
If you want to try something new this Valentine’s Day, consider this your move. You might feel like you’re far away, but that’s the appeal here: The position gives you both nice views of each other’s full naked bodies, and you have control over the depth, speed, and angle of the thrusts.
How to do it: Your partner sits with their legs straight and you sit on top of them with bent knees on top of their thighs, and you both lean back. To make it even hotter, have them use their hand to rub your clitoris, or massage with your own. Lean back farther for extra G-spot stimulation.
11. The Vag-entine
Ride your Valentine as fast or as slow as you want on top. This position is just like cowgirl, but with a twist—you lean back, creating a different angle that helps you target your G-spot even more and gives your partner easy access to your clitoris.
How to do it: Climb on top and have your partner enter you. Then lean back and place your hands on the bed for support, creating a 45-degree angle with your partner’s legs.
12. Burning Love
Turn up the heat on what’s sure to be a chilly winter night with this position perf for V-Day V-play. Your partner’s body heat will warm you up and make you feel closer than ever.
How to do it: Lie side-by-side in the spooning position, and bend your knees slightly so that he can enter you from behind.
13. Sugar Lips
Take your spoon and raise it a fork: This missionary-turned-sideways position provides the same full-body press and romantic eye gaze, plus lots of opportunity for all the kissing.
How to do it: From the missionary position, without disengaging, turn together onto your sides, using your arms to support your upper bodies. Try intertwining your legs with theirs or fondling them down below for even more intimacy.
14. Cupid’s Arrow
BAM—you’ve been struck by love. Now have them point their, um, arrow your way with this challenging move.
How to do it: Lie back with your ankles on either side of your head. They will squat and dip their penis or strap-on in and out of you.
15. Eat Your Heart Out
Candy isn’t all that’s on the menu today. This super-cozy move allows plenty of face time for making out.
How to do it: While they’re sitting down, you sit in their lap, facing them.
16. Head Over Heels
Or, in this case, heels over head. Take your relationship to a deeper level with this move that helps the penetrating partner go all the way.
How to do it: Lie back with your legs resting on each of their shoulders. This narrows your vagina for a snugger fit and more stimulation.
17. The Dovetail
Having your partner go down on you is pretty freaking intimate, and this G-spot-blasting position makes the transition from oral to vaginal a little too easy. It’s perfect to try out this Valentine’s Day, because it’s all about you.
How to do it: Lie back with your legs resting on each of your partner’s shoulders. Have your partner lick your clitoris with their tongue, then have them start rocking you in a side-to-side or up-and-down motion. That should bring the penis or strap-on into direct contact with your G-spot, where it belongs.
18. Puppy Love
This move is all about animalistic sensuality and deep (deeeeep) penetration. Enjoy!
How to do it: Get on all fours and have them kneel behind you. They enter from behind while holding your hips or boobs.
19. Hug Me
This slightly awkward candy heart phrase just got way hotter with this athletic standing-sex challenge.
How to do it: They stand while you straddle them, wrapping your legs around their body. They, in turn, support your backside. You can transition to this move from lying down or simply take a leap of faith.
20. Ballet Dancer
Shower sex is the steamiest way to mix it up on Valentine’s Day. Rinse and repeat.
How to do it: With your partner standing and positioned to enter you from the front, bring one leg up to brace against the edge of the tub or your shower wall for extra support and thrusting leverage. The change in angle adds a stimulating twist to a shower standard, and the added sensation of warm water on your back definitely doesn’t hurt.
21. The Om
If you’re going ~out~ this Valentine’s Day, pull over on the way home for some spontaneous car sex. This position is both romantic *and* hot.
How to do it: Have your partner sit cross-legged (yoga-/pretzel-style) on the car seat, then sit in their lap facing them. Wrap your legs around them and hug each other for support.
Marissa Gainsburg is the Features Director at Women’s Health, where she oversees the magazine’s news-meets-trends Warm Up section and Love & Life section. After receiving her journalism degree from the University of Florida, Marissa has spent the past eight years in NYC with her dog Bentley, writing and editing fitness, nutrition, health, sexual health, mental health, relationship, and travel content. She’s held previous positions at Self, Allure, and Cosmopolitan.
Lexi Inks (she/her) is a lifestyle journalist based in Jacksonville, Florida. She has reported on countless topics, including sexual wellness, astrology, relationship issues, non-monogamy, mental health, pop culture, and more. In addition to Women’s Health, her work has been published on Bustle, Cosmopolitan, Well + Good, Byrdie, Popsugar, and others. As a queer and plus-size woman with living with mental illness, Lexi strives for intersectionality and representation in all of her writing. She holds a BFA in Musical Theatre from Jacksonville University, which she has chosen to make everyone’s problem.