Don’t be shy —
To help make sure you’re doing it to the best of your ability, we’re sharing the lowdown on what to do from start to finish.
What better way to make a move than some good old-fashioned making out?
Assume your position
As long as you’re both comfortable enough it to enjoy it, there’s no need to try any elaborate sex positions. They can stand or sit while you kneel in front, or they can lie flat on their back while your lips hover above.
Bonus points if your position allows for eye contact. Eye contact is super hot, shows confidence (also super hot), and ups the intimacy factor.
Undress if you want to
Unless you’re in a place where you can’t get naked, clothing is totally optional. It’s ultimately down to your comfort levels.
Pull it out while leaving the rest of their clothes intact, or pull their underwear down far enough to reach all their bits.
If the feel of skin on skin helps get you both hot, then go for the full Monty.
How to move your tongue
Anything goes here, really. Use your entire tongue to move your way up and down their shaft.
The tip of your tongue is perfect for zoning in on the smaller and highly sensitive areas. You can use the tip to flick the frenulum, then swirl it around the head before gently bringing them into your mouth.
How to move your mouth when it’s full
Once you bring them into your mouth, focus on choosing a pace that says “mmm, mmm good” rather than “just come and let’s get this over with already.”
Start off slow with light pressure, and gradually increase your pace. If they seem to be getting close to climax, stick with what you’re doing.
How do you know? Their body language!
The hips don’t lie: Pay attention to what they’re doing while you’re going down. Thrusting, holding your head steady, or quivering are all signs that they’re loving it and getting closer to climax.
How to keep your teeth out of the way
Unless you’re trying to bite down, your teeth shouldn’t really an issue here. But, we get that some people worry about accidental dental contact (we see you, peeps with braces!).
Just focus on letting your tongue and lips make contact. Your teeth will just sort of blend into the background and disappear.
How to use your voice to make the job next-level hot
Make some noise! It may be rude to talk with your mouth full, but your sounds tell them you’re loving every inch of them, which is a mega turn on.
It’s not a lick of gelato, so hearty “nom, nom, noms” aren’t necessary. Moaning, heavy breathing, and even slurping show you’re into it. And the vibration from your mouth will feel amazing for them.
How to take your B-job to rim job territory
Why not take your B-job to rim job territory? Your mouth’s already in the vicinity anyway, so the transition to rimming would be totally natural. Just be sure they’re cool with it before you give it a go.
How to use your hands
Oral is the perfect time to get touchy-feely. You can use your hand to control the depth and show other parts of their body some extra love.
Use your hand to stroke the shaft and let your thumb graze the frenulum as you reach the head. You can continue to do this while licking and sucking.
Put those multitasking skills to the test and use your other hand to gently massage their balls at the same time.
How to incorporate penetration
If you want to slip a finger in their butt and they consent, go for it. Just be sure to use a lot of lube.
Begin by applying gentle pressure to their perineum using the pads of your index and middle fingers, then insert an uber-lubed finger into their anus.
If you’re both cool with it, take rimming to another level by inserting the tip of your tongue into their anus and pushing it in and out.
How to add sex toys to the mix
Slow and lots of lube is the way to proceed when adding toys to the mix.
For example, you can use the tip of a butt plug to tease the opening before slowly inserting it. Keep the butt plug inside while you lick and stroke them for double the pleasure, and possibly even an anal orgasm.
Unless your jaw is super tired and cramping or they’ve asked you to stop, you don’t have to. It’s totally up to you. Here are some ideas if you’re drawing a blank.
If they want you to keep going
If you’re happy to keep at it, then stick to whatever you’re doing, since it’s probably working.
Increasing your speed and upping your enthusiasm with some well-placed moans and eye contact can help get them there faster.
If they’re ready to come
There’s no pressure to swallow even if you let them finish in your mouth.
Keep sucking, and let the semen enter your slightly parted lips. If you’re going to swallow, now’s the time. If not, let it dribble down your chin — which is much sexier than it sounds — or discreetly spit it out into a nearby cup or cloth.
If the texture of tapioca’s not your thing, switch to giving them a hand job just as they’re about to climax. Let them finish on your chin, chest, or other area of your body.
If you want to stop
If you want to stop, then by all means stop.
And if you’re not ready for sexy time to end, remember that it doesn’t have to just because the BJ portion of the program is over.
Count it as foreplay and start kissing your way back up their body. Go where you want from there. Suggestions: Climb on or turn over for penetration, or guide them down so they can reciprocate orally.
Bodies are different. Forget what you’ve seen in porn, where the penis is typically big, smooth as an eggplant, and praised for tasting “oh so good” as it’s handled by an equally perfect mouth.
Everyone has an individual smell and taste
Everything from what you eat to the soap you use can a
ffect your unique smell. And you can’t expect to pull a penis out of the cramped confines of pants without some sweat or odor.
A quick shower is usually sufficient to keep things fresh down there. Any odor that’s left is natural and totally fine.
Just like your natural odor, different factors affect how a person’s fluids taste. If someone has a funky taste, there are things they can do to help spruce it up, like drinking more water, eating less red meat, and limiting smoking.
Penises and pubic hairs come in many colors, shapes, and sizes
Penises run the gamut when it comes to physical characteristics.
You’ve got circumcised or uncircumcised. Some are long, others are short. There are dark or pale ones, smooth or ridged ones. It’s all good.
Oral sex still has risks
Oral sexually transmitted infections (STIs) exist. Any skin-to-skin contact or contact with bodily fluids can transmit STIs.
And don’t let a healthy-looking package fool you. Not all STIs cause symptoms. Try lowering your risk and give yourself a tasty treat by using flavored condoms.
You’re bound to have some Q’s right about now, so let’s start with some of the most pressing.
What do you do if there’s foreskin?
You don’t really need to tweak your game all that much for foreskin. If you’re starting with your hands, let the foreskin move with your hand.
When you’re ready to move on, gently pull the foreskin downward to expose the head.
How do you avoid gagging?
Gagging does not make a good blow job — though some might (literally) beg otherwise. You can avoid gagging by placing the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth to block your throat.
Do you have to deep throat?
Only if you want to. You can still give them a mind-blowing beej without going deep. Maneuver it toward the roof of your mouth instead. Unless your partner’s an oral surgeon, they probably won’t know the diff.
How do you know if you’re doing OK?
Apart from taking a bite of it, there’s really no way to screw this up. Look for nonverbal signs of pleasure, like faster and heavier breathing or thrusting action.
If radio silence is freaking you out, don’t be afraid to ask if it feels good. They’ll probably think it’s hot that you genuinely want to please them.
What do you do if your mouth gets tired?
Use your hands. Alternating between hand and mouth is just as enjoyable!
Does it matter if you spit or swallow?
This comes down to your comfort level. Discuss it with your partner beforehand.
Some people love the visual of finishing in someone’s mouth, but having them finish on your closed lips or chin can be just as hot if swallowing semen isn’t your thing.
The key is to make a blow job mutually satisfying. You’re in control when going down, so have fun with it and revel in the power you have over their pleasure.
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow, or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddleboard.